Fifteensquared » Private Eye/Cyclops

Private Eye/Cyclops 424 – Besmear drummer

beermagnet — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:15:29 +0000

Half-way through solving this I thought I was on for a record time – covering half the grid in a very few minutes. Then I slowed and then got interrupted by Real Life. Coming back to it a few hours later I finished it off with not much trouble except for 1/23 CROSSWORD SETTER which took far too long and especially the final 17D BESMEAR.

Re: The blog title: Drummers do seem to come for a pasting. My No.1 Son is a drummer. [God! this sounds like an AA meeting "My name is beermagnet and my son is a drummer"]. Anyway, the band he plays in parted company with the chap on Rhythm Guitar. But rather than find a new guitarist they found another drummer – so Son1 moved over to play the “Rhythm Axe” instead – Cue comments such as “Oh! You’ve become a musician!”. Anyway, I saw one of their gigs and can report they all enjoy playing together now – mind you, I’d rather he was still playing Rachmaninoff on the Grahnd Piahno. Instead, it’s Heavy Metal. I did get my hearing back after 3 days – next time I’ll wear earplugs – they do.

By the way have you heard about the new Indian dish, chicken tarka …

Across
1/23	CROSSWORD SETTER CROSSWORD (Bugger, say) SETTER (Shaggy cur) Def: Cyclops. I don’t mind admitting this took a while and several crossing letters
6	ICBM I (“Eye” Eye’s report) C (Cameron’s first) BM (Brenda mishandled initially). Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. Another hangover from the 50s that is still around but people don’t talk about so much. First answer entered
9	SPIRAL (LIAR MPs – M)* AInd: Tossing
10	TENT POLE E inside TNT (Energy eating explosive) POLE (European) Def: Trouser snake formation. Referring to that unbidden condition that occurs to the male of the species typically when teenage in the most enbarrassing circs.
11/22	PLAYING AWAY FROM HOME Double Def.
13	IN MY BOOK (OK I’M BONY)* AInd: Gaga
14	LARIAT (A TRAIL)* AInd: Tweaked
15	HOLD IT OLD (Senior) inside HIT (smack)
17	BEVERAGE BE[a]VER (Fanny missing a) AGE (period)
19	DRUG-PUSHING DRUG (E) PUSHING (advertising)
24	ONER [b]ONER
25	GRAND DUKE G[ood] RAND (money) DUKE (fist)

Down
2	ROPE OR< (OR perverse) PE (exercise)
3	STROPPY DD/CD Referring to Sweeny Todd, who, as a barber, would strop his razor so that it was so sharp you wouldn’t feel a thing …
4	WALKABOUT LAW< (Statute reversed), (UK BOAT)* AInd: rocked. Attempt to mislead you to think about Radio Caroline “The Boat that Rocked”
5	RETHINK (THE)* AInd: nuts, inside RINK (Area for curling)
6	IN POWER IN (elected) P[arty] OWER (one with obligation) Def: Labour is no longer
7	BELLY LAUGH BELLY (corporation) LAUGH (break up)
8	SNOG GON[ad]S< (Balls turned up without a date) Liked this one.
12	ANY OLD IRON (RANDILY + O)* AInd: dicky, ON (working)
14	LIVE IN SIN CD I think, unless there’s more to this: Get knotted? No, carry on as you are (4,2,3)
16	DRUMMER [ban]D RUMMER (more wacky). I think the question mark at the end of this clue is just to improve the surface reading. If so it worked because it’s my clue of the grid: Ringo: band’s last member to get more wacky? (7)
17	BESMEAR Hidden in stroBES: “ME A Rogue . Last answer – yet again it is a hidden that I could not see till the end.
18	RIGHTED RIGHT (just) ED (Miliband)
20/21	POOP DECK POOP (shit) DECK (dress)

… It’s like chicken tikka, but a little ‘otter

Private Eye/Cyclops 423 – Awkward empathy

beermagnet — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 23:15:37 +0000

I made a note that I only had 10 answers in place after the first pint, which is an indication that this was harder than the last few Eye crossies. On the other hand, after a breather the rest fell in short order. Crossing letters helped for the last few but nothing that didn’t have wordplay understood. Last to drop – 8D Empathy.
I see Selfridges are being lambasted again for starting the “Christmas Shopping Experience” five months early. As a computer programmer I like celebrating early and often, at Halloween as well as the other one. Why? …

Across
9	PEACE Homophone “Piece”
10	MAUSOLEUM (E[nergy] USUAL MO M[owlam])* AInd: casual. Def: “Grand place for a stiff one”
11	DEAD DRUNK (DUKE AND DR)* AInd: off. Def: Pissed
12	GOLDA (LOG)< (Diary about), D[avid], A Def: A has-been PM’s first. Ref: First name of Golda Meir
13	REGARDS (RAG)< (Tabloid backing) inside REDS (commies) Def: All the best
15	SPINACH SPIN (Alistair Campbell’s thing) ACH! (an ejaculation – particularly Scottish if you can pronouce it correctly)
17/18	WISH LIST (HIS WILTS)* AInd: stimulated
23	PORK PIE R, K (two kings), I (Cyclops) all inside POPE (His Eminence). Def: Whopper i.e. falsehood. The answer is CR slang for Lie
24	OUTGROW O[pen] U[nderwear] T[ank] (as indicated by – tops) G ROW (G string) My favourite clue even if being simple: Get too big for open underwear, tank tops and G string (7)
25	WRATH R (Rex) inside (WHAT)* AInd: removed. Def: spleen
27	AFTERGLOW CD. I presume.
29	CHERISHES CHERI[e]‘S (Blair’s saving energy) HE’S. A question of which Blair to pick when solving.
30	CIDER RED (Bloody) IC (Chip – Integrated Circuit) all rev.

Down
1	SPIDERY ID (unconscious – as in Id, Ego, Superego and all that malarky), ER (Brenda) all inside SPY (agent). Def: Like the web user
3/21	LEADERSHIP CONTEST Is the whole thing a CD? The second half is a reasonably clear definition, and I wrote it in early on that basis, but I can’t see the relevence of the first half. Balls put under pressure in the latest party charade? (10,7)
4	IMPULSE I (one) MP (member) USE (manipulation) containing L[ength]. Def: Fancy, as in urge
5	TURKISH DD tongue (Language) and ref. to Turkish delight
6/26	LONG HAIR LONG (protracted) H[ot] AIR James May is apparently known for having scruffy hair – well you would when you’re a kid of the 70s who hasn’t really grown-up.
7	HELLRAISER HE’LL RAISE (get higher) R[um] Ref Oliver Reed the archetypal 60s/70s hellraiser. If he was that pissed for that long how did he make so many films? Some of them quite good. When on a walking holiday in the Lake District one summer long ago I topped a rise in the middle of nowhere near Wast Water to find hundreds of people and film unit lorries etc. There was Ollie himself, plus female in a clinch, standing on a little promontory so that the amazing eastern scree the other side of the lake provided a backdrop. That provided about 10 seconds of the film “The Devils”.
8	EMPATHY (PM)< (up Cameron) inside (THE YA)* AInd: disgraceful Def: fellow feeling
14	GRIM REAPER CD
16	ILLITERACY ILL (bad) IT (sex) CARY* AInd: novel
19	IPSWICH I[ncompetent] C[legg] inside (WHIPS)* AInd: harassed
20	SERAPHS PH (boozer – Public House) inside (ARSES)* AInd: jiggling
22	AWKWARD A WK (short period – Week) WAR (conflict) D[icky]
28/2	LADY GAGA LAD (Bloke), (GAY)* AInd: outed, G (lots of cash) A (one) Def: who helps fill the tabloids.

… because OCT 31 = DEC 25 !

Private Eye/Cyclops 422 – Rescind sceptre

beermagnet — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 23:01:13 +0000

Woah! Cyclops revealing his Republican tendancies in his central down answers,
and possibly extolling the virtues of early applications of antibiotics in the central across answers: Preempt anthrax.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this .

Across
5	STONE AGE TONE (Blair casually) inside SAGE (Green) First clue read. First answer written. Makes a change. I probably had an advantage as Tone is my non-nickname nickname but I’d best keep quiet about that
7	VIAGRA CD. On this subject, I asked my local pharmacist if I could get it over the counter. He said: “Only if you take two”
9	JEKYLL [par]K (park’s exit) inside (JELLY)* AInd: screwed. Def: Other side of Hyde. I really liked this clue with its misleading Hyde Park surface, and made it my favourite
10	CATACOMB A COMB (A toothy thing) after CAT (pussy)
11	SPENDING CUTS S[haky] P[arty] ENDING (stopping) CUTS (hacks) Up to date definition: What drives the coalition’s policies? No need for a question mark there methinks given the bonfire of the Quangos occurring at the moment. The one I’m concerned about is the abolition of the HFEA (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority), I mean, you’ve got to keep an eye on this sort oft thing. Before we know it we’ll have people selectively breeding individuals who think they’re superior. Where will that end? They will probably try to take control … err.
14	PREEMPT (PETER PM)* AInd: snapped. Lovely surface: Snapped Peter, grabbing poor PM, “Get in before the opposition does!” (3-4)
16	ANTHRAX AN (one), (HRT)* AInd: sort of, A (one), X (cross)
18	DAVID CAMERON DAVID (Camp follower – Ref Camp David ) CAME (was orgasmic) R ON (“Right-on”). With a couple of crossing letters the def: ‘New leader’ gave it away – the wordplay took a bit longer.
21	BULLWHIP BULL (bollocks) WHIP (parliamentarian)
22	RHUMBA HUM (stink) inside (BAR)* AInd: used. Minimalist anagrind here?
24	AT ONCE C[legg] inside ATONE (repent)
25	ROYALIST ROY (Hattersley) A LIST (A tip) Is a tip a list?

Down
1/20	ONLY JUST [pe]N[is] inside (LUST JOY)* AInd: disguised
2	CABLED DD Ref The new government’s Business Secretary Vince Cable
3	RESCIND (DISCERN)* AInd: Being smashed
4	RAT CATCHER T[ory] inside (CHARACTER)* AInd: poor.
6	TREASURY DD Referring to “Treasuries” of stories – often for children, and the Treasury which is not headed Alistair Darling now! The solver would probably have the answer before noticing the nice inferrence towards of Peter Pan’s Darling family.
7	VATICAN A TIC (a jerk) inside VAN (vehicle)
8	RUMP (UR)< MP
12	EYEBALLING EYE (magazine) BALLING (Shagging, US style) Last answer. I wrote in Eyebashing early on.
13	CANNABIS CAN (Nick – prison) NAB (Nick – steal) IS
15	PRITHEE (HIT PEER)* AInd: badly
17	SCEPTRE (RESPECT)* AInd: pitiful. Well-worn anagram
19	MARTYR T[or]Y (gutless supporter of Cameron) inside MARR (political commentator – Ref Andrew )
23	UGLY U[ndo] G[ordon's] L[ousy] Y[ears]

Lest we forget: 14 years ago ICE (Institute of Civil Engineers) persuaded Yellow Pages to remove the entry under “Boring” that said
“See: Civil Engineers”.

Private Eye/Cyclops 421 – Hanoi or bust

beermagnet — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 23:15:14 +0000

So there I was wondering where to do my Eye crossword this time. I thought what about another time and found myself in a smoky pub in about 1972. “The Worlds End”. God it was awful! – the beer was dreadful, the atmosphere could be cut with a knife, and someone sat down at the piano and started belting out “Blue is the Colour”. One good thing was that it had lots of separate bars and there was a reasonably quiet snug where I could settle down to tackle the crossword. Of course when I finished it I found myself back in the real world. Shame.

Across
9	HANOI HA! (expression of triumph – as used e.g. by David Tennant as Dr Who) ION< (charge retracted)
10	FIT TO BUST DD: 1. What to do with a bra 2. with gusto
11	TROUSSEAU T[ories] ROUSSEAU Surprisingly “crossword-common” word and wordplay. This or making ROUSSEAU from TROUSSEAU – T. It’s cos it’s a word ending in U innit.
12	MATER DD: 1. Mother 2. Someone who mates (“Oedipus! Oedipus! Wherefore art thou Oedipus”)
13	HAREMS ER< inside HAMS (joints)
14/19/23	BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT BRITAIN ‘S GOT (The country has) T[ory] A[nd] L[ib] (NET)* AInd: awful. First clue attempted and first written in mostly from the clear definition and the fact that I agree with the sentiment.
17	RIPON IPO[d] inside RN (sailors)
20	ELDER [w]ELDER
22	EPILATOR (IP ALE ROT)* AInd: ROT – doing double duty but that’s reasonably clear. I knew of Depilation, frightful activity, so put this answer in without much worry thinking it was much the same thing. Researching, I find there is a distinction between the two as explained here: Wiki Depilatory
28	ART CRITIC A[nna] RT (right) CRITIC (fault finder) Anna Sewell wrote Black Beauty and is somehow a world away from Brian of that ilk briansewell.co.uk (I’m not sure that this website isn’t a spoof)
29	WITCHHUNT CH[urch] HUNT (quest) after WIT (joker) Ref. Sen. Joe McCarthy
30	CUT IN PUTIN with a different top. I don’t understand what “beefcake” is doing in the clue: Interrupt beefcake Vladimir changing top (3,2)

Down
1	THATCHER THAT (“the one over there”) CHER (the much enhanced performer) This one was very misleading. I fell for the trap of thinking that the Definition – the Tory leader – was wordplay for T.
2	ON TOUR NT (religious books) inside OO (balls), U[nderpants] R[ight]
3	DIPSOMANIA DIPS (plunges) (O[b]AMA IN)* AInd: mess. Def: Lush state.
4/26	AFTERBIRTH CD relying on the two different meanings of Labour
5	ET TU BRUTE (TUBE UTTER)* AInd: rubbish. The clue wasn’t. I award this the top clue gong: Tube utter rubbish, so even you have joined the backstabbers (2,2,5)
7	CURTSIED CUR (Dog) (DIETS)* AInd: lousy. I see at the side of the grid I anagrammed “Dog diet’s” into Dodgiest and even Stodgied (What’s that? Porridge attack?) but realised neither of these could be a “formal way of acknowledging” The Queen
8	UTERUS (TRUE)* AInd: bastard. US (American)
15	THE RAT RACE DD/CD-thingy which had me foxed. Last clue entered but when I realised the answer I couldn’t fathom why it misled me so much: Definitive nation of arseholes’ relentless competition (3,3,4)
16	IGNORAMUS (U[ranium] ORGASM IN)* AInd: explosive.
18	PRIORITY IT (sex) inside PRIORY (abbey)
21	RETICENT T[ory] I[nquest] inside (CENTRE)* AInd: debacle. I liked the definition: Frank’s antithesis
22	ELBOWS BOW (Archer’s thing) inside (Ernie) ELS (Golfer). Elbow as a verb.
24	ENTITY TIT (plonker) inside E[ast] N[ew] Y[ork] Def: Being
25/6	STATEROOM STATE (maybe Georgia) , MOOR< (Fell – as in a mountainside)
27	HO-HO HO[use] (Commons) HO[use] (Lords) “no use in either case” – definitely a ho-ho moment! Stick a on that one.

How times change: Years ago people felt safe when there was a Moat around their manor

Private Eye/Cyclops 420 – Three Eds

beermagnet — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 23:15:38 +0000

… are better, maybe.
Maybe Edward Woodward would have had something to say about that, if he was foreward. The three Eds here are the ubiquitous Editor, one Miliband, and the inevitable Balls.
Political topicality provided the longest answer.

Talking topically: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Across
8	MUG’S GAME MUGS (Swots – as in Swots up / Mugs up) GAME (craps perhaps – a dice game)
9	OFTEN [s]OFTEN
10	LITERAL LIT (inflamed) ER (Brenda) AL (gangster – Al Capone)
11	SWEET FA SWEET (winsome) F[emale] A (one) I would’ve expected the enumeration to have been (5,1,1) but I think I’ve seen it as (5,2) before – can’t understand why that is considered OK. Mind you on that reasoning 2 Down should be (1,1,1,1)
12	CANED CAN (Nick – prison) ED (a hack)
14	PLAIN TALK (PLAN A IT)* AInd: crap; L[eft] [nic]K
15	DISUSED DIS (insult) US(American) ED (Miliband)
17	WHEEDLE ED (Balls – this time) inside (WHEEL)* AInd: spinning
19/5	COALITION GOVERNMENT COAL (Fuel) IT (sex) ION (molecular charge) GOVERNMENT (control) I needed many crossers to see this.
21	TIMES Double Def: X, in a calculating way ; organ (Times newspaper)
23	ANKLETS (KEN LAST)* AInd: sporting. The member whereupon the bangles are being sported is, in this case, a leg.
24	PARADOX PARA (airborne troop) DOX (homophone of something – “Docks” ?). I presume MOs in the clue means Modus Operandi. Full clue: Absurdity of outspoken airborne troop MOs (7)
26/1	PANIC BUTTON CD/DD Surprise Jensen (who called him that? Primary example of parentally induced nominative determinism)
27	SYPHILIS (SLY’S HIP I)* AInd: remedy

Down
2	USSR US (Land of Bush) SR (Senior)
3	WALLOPED WALLOP (piss) ED (a hack)
4	GEISHA (HAG[u]E IS)* AInd: Vacillating. You had to lose the centre of “Hague is” rather than just “Hague”
6	STATE AID SAID (remarked) about TAT (rubbish) [Cabl]E
7	UNMASK (MANS)* AInd: screwed inside UK (the country)
10	LUCID LU[ck] CID (cops)
13	DISSIDENCE (DENIES CIDS)* AInd: smashed
16	SPANKING DD: Excellent as in “top hole”; and a very English form of mild S&M
17	WINDPIPE WIND (rotate) PIPE (cannabis holder)
18	ESSEX ES (Drugs) SEX (nooky) Ref. Earl of E favourite of Liz I
19	CRAPPY APP (Appendix) inside CRY (Blubber)
20	INSIST Homophone “In cyst” – My last in. Not sure why I didn’t see this quicker. The homophone works and is clearly clued.
22	MADRID MAD (nuts) RID (Free)
25	RUIN I (one) inside RUN (zip – as in hurry)

Jorge Larrionda (referee):
“I did not see the chicken cross the road”

Private Eye/Cyclops 419 – Big Nancy

beermagnet — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 23:15:20 +0000

I must be getting better at these.
Another Eye crossy that was knocked off without raising a sweat.
The long giveaway answer gave away lots of crossing letters and everything else slotted in with no hold-ups.

Across
6	LANCER L[arge], (ACNE)* AInd: riddled, R[ight]
7	ST GEORGE ST (Way – street), E[nergy] inside GORGE (get stuffed)
11	PRESS GANG PRESS (smooth) GANG (party)
12	LADEN DD “The terrorist leader finally”
13/14/21	DO YOU REALISE WHO I AM DD that is almost a Single Def. I found this clue a bit weak given how guessable it is from the enumeration. Double defs: “Question …type” and “pissed off … recognition”: Question from self important type pissed off by apparent lack of recognition? (2,3,7,3,1,2)
17	SKINFUL [barac]K inside SINFUL
19	OILSKIN OIL (Grease) SKIN (strip)
22	GNASH [pa]N[ts] inside GASH (split)
25	LIT UP DD “Lit up” to mean drunk seems very old fashioned but it has appeared in more than one crossword lately
27	OVERSPENT OVERS (Maidens possibly) PENT (restrained)
28	SOAP STAR SOAP’s TAR (gets sailor in a lather) Def. “Windsor, for one” refs Barbara of that ilk Oh! She changed her name to Windsor from Deeks – did that sound too German?
29	JIGSAW JIG (tool positioning aid) SAW (looked) I am not going to refer to Heskey

Down
1	SLIP A DISC (A PILS)< (knocking back a lager), DISC (floppy maybe)
2	SNEEZY DD Ref Disney’s presciently named septet, and yes, a sneeze is an ejaculation; it is also what Bunter did when talking to Bob Cherry about Old Quelchy.
3	GET STUFFED Double Def – nice one: Olive might … bugger off (3,7)
4	STIGMA (GITS)< (Bastards turning over) MA (the old lady)
5/20	WELL ENDOWED WELL (Spring) END (tip) O (ring) WED (joined)
8	REDNECK RED (embarassed) NECK (snog)
9	EDNA E (Amphetamine) AND< (too up) Should we nitpick here: For E to come from amphetamine we must recognise that E is from Ecstacy which is MDMA (3,4-Methylenedioxy-N-methamphetamine) which is one of several derivatives from amphetamine but isn’t strictly amphetamine (aka speed) itself. I suppose it is in the “family” amphetamine. I also suppose no-one had too much trouble with this clue.
10	BARREL ERR (balls up) inside LAB (party) all reversed
15	IDLE GOSSIP IDLE (unemployed) GO (a crack – a try) (PISS)* AInd: off
16	ON THE TOWN (NOT)* AInd: knackered, (HE WON’T)* AInd: maybe. Hang on, there was no Nancy in “On the Town” So here the town is Nancy in Lorraine, not New York, New York
18	INERTIA IN (Trendy), ER (TV Series), (IT)* AInd: Off, A
19	OODLES [n]OODLES Last in – but it didn’t put up a fight when I looked at it with a steely glint
23	AGEIST Hidden in: frottAGE IS Truthfully
24	PLUS PLUS[h]
26	PISS (SIP)< (drink up), S[econd]

I can’t help thinking that if you are in South Africa with three lions on your chest you’ve got more to worry about than who’s going win the football.

Private Eye/Cyclops 418 – Awful, awful, awful

beermagnet — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 23:15:56 +0000

After last week’s triple “percent” wordplay, this week we have “awful” used as an anagrind in three different clues. So I’m afraid it walked into that blog title. Blam!
But it was quite a nice crossword. In fact, to paraphrase Niles from Frasier, better than perfect: What’s better than perfect? Something with one small failing that you can enjoy picking over, saying “Oh! awful again”.
It must’ve been quite simple because I did it on the train within that 30 mins on the Friday after the Sloggers & Betters, after a triple leaving do and didn’t fall asleep – it was close – it kept me interested and awake so I didn’t miss my stop, and when I looked later it was finished. As usual, some of the wordplay did not get fully untangled till blogging.

Across
8	UNCOOL U[nlikely] (COLON)* AInd: replacement. Def: not hip
9	PRIVATES CD Nice one! Full Clue: They serve as genitalia (8)
10	CULPRIT C[onservative], (RIP)* AInd: off, inside ULT (last month)
11/24/12	POKING YOUR NOSE IN POKING (screwing) YOUR NOSE (Eye reader’s organ) I (Cyclops) N[ame]
13	PRENATAL (LEAN PART[y])* AInd: awfully
14/16	GET ONES KNICKERS IN A TWIST GET ONES KNICKERS (Do some personal shopping a la Brenda, say) (A NITWITS)* AInd: mad. Def: panic
18	ORIFICES O (ring) IF inside RICE’S (Sir Tim’s)
21	ANGOLA [politici]AN, (GOAL) AInd: ruined. Another percentage wordplay (Politician’s last 20%)
23	SMITHS SM (Sadomasochism) (SHIT)* AInd: awful
24	YEW TREE (WET)* AInd drippy, inside ([thatche]R EYE)* AInd: possibly
25	JUNGFRAU J[ack], UN (a French), G[irl], (A FUR)* AInd: knotted.
26	SOLVER (LOVE)* AInd: mad, inside SR from S[educe]R – I like that wordplay: arms of seducer.

Down
1	ANECDOTE (ANT DEC O)* AInd: production, E[lectronic] O from “sod all”
2	GOALIE GO (try) A LIE (a whopper)
3	FLORENCE (ROLF)< ([s]CENE)* AInd: awful
4	SPOT (TOPS)< This clue made easier to solve by the word SPOT appearing as the first word of the next clue!
5	PIMPLE PIMP (solicitor) LE[g] member losing lots of money
6	BACKPACK BACK (support) PACK (rugby players) This one took a while after thinking it started with (rugby players) PACK and wondering what SACK had to do with “attaching”. Full clue: Bag attaching support to rugby players (8)
7	HERNIA HER (the woman), (IN A)* AInd: tizzy
13	PUKES P[enny] UK (the nation) Es (drugs)
15	OFFSTAGE OFF (bad taste) STAGE (section)
17	RELIEVED [waitros]E inside (DELIVER)* AInd: bananas.
19	RUMPUS RUMP (behind) US (Private Eye) Def: Big noise
20	CASTRO CAST (chucked) OR< or OR* reversal/AInd: misplaced. The most misleading clue and thus my favourite: Leader chucked – alternative’s misplaced (6) For some time I thought “Leader chucked” gave C, especially after getting that crossing first letter, and I wondered if COTHER meant misplaced, but the other checked letters resolved it, though it was the last one in. Still, it could make a reasonable dialect word: “E, I came over all of a cother!”
22	GURGLE G[ood] inside (GRUEL)* AInd: mushy

BA announcement::
Until further notice BA is not flying from the UK.
BA announced: “I ain’t getting on no plane you crazy fool!”

Private Eye/Cyclops 417 – Percentage, percentage, percentage

beermagnet — Sun, 23 May 2010 23:15:51 +0000

I was knocking off these clues without too much trouble but did think more than once that they were quite convoluted. It took 20 Min – only about ½ pint – drinking slowly – I’d already had a couple while failing to finish that Saturday’s Indy. So that’s obviously a good warm up routine. I got off to a flying start with the long answer 14/17/21 where I thought of it from the definition and enumeration, then wordplay confirmed. But what’s with all the %age clues? 20% here 40% there 66% of the other, all using essentially the same wordplay method. Am I missing a theme?

Across
3	SLIMEBALLS (MILES)* AInd: swinging, BALLS (testicles)
10	GODDAMNED (GNONE ADDED – E)* AInd: Deranged. Def: What Sarah Palin says instead of “awful”
11	OWNER [BR]OWN ER
12	CHEDDAR (DEC HARD)* AInd: Stormy
13	TIDDLES DDL (500 500 50) inside TIES (guys – as in ropes) Def. Pussy – tiddles is the archetypical name for a cat
14/17/21	THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN THE PEOPLE (tabloid) HAVE (has to own) (SOP)* AInd: disgraceful; KEN (Clarke)
19/1	BULLSHIT BULL’S HIT (Archer’s struck Gold) Penultimate answer entered – and the one that delayed me most. I was misled into thinking Gold = AU or OR, and, of course, was thinking of our Jeff as the Archer. Reminds me of Clive Anderson’s line to him: ‘Is there no beginning to your talents?’
20	TUMBLE-DRY TUMBLE (A posh shag) DRY (boozeless) Is “tumble” particularly posh?
22	PLAYFUL PLAY (Luvvie’s thing) FUL[l] (stuffed almost)
24	ACROBAT AC (Bill) (O BRA)* AInd: possibly. T[emperature]
26	KRILL [todge]R inside KILL (top)
27	NEGOTIATE (TOE-EATING)* AInd: kinky. Def. Pull off. Not sure about this definition, “pull off” implies success, whereas negotiations may fail
28	NO NONSENSE DD
29/6	BLUE BLOOD CD

Down
1	SAGACITY SAGA CITY (super large holiday resort for oldies) ha ha
2	INDIE IN (accepted) DIE (decline) Def. Newspaper’s familiar. Last in. Couldn’t see this at all till the initial crossing I appeared then it was obvious.
4	LONER ONE (Brenda self-referentially) inside L R (political extremes)
5	MIDSTREAM (TRIMS MADE)* AInd: Creative. Creative anagrind indeed.
7	LONG-LIVED L[abour] [gord]ON (66% down) G[ood] LIVE (to be) D[ead] Def: Enduring. Bitty wordplay
8	STRESS S[emen] (20% of) TRESS (hair)
9	HARD SELL H[ours] (ED BALLS R – B)* AInd: snapped. More convoluted clueing
15	EDUCATION CD Ref Blair’s memorable priority list “Education, education, education”
16	PETULANCE (ULNA C)* AInd: dislocated, inside PETE (Doherty)
17	HILARITY IT (sex) inside HIL[l]ARY
18	EYE TO EYE T[ime] O (love) inside EYE EYE (this organ cloned)
23	FELON FE (Iron) L[ady] ON (having taken the stage)
24	AEGIS A (one) EG (say) [pen]IS (40%) Def. Protection. The shield used by Zeus
25	BRAWL BROWN AWL (boring thing) OWN (have) removed (to quit).

Conductor: Is there anything you would like the orchestra to play?
George Bernard Shaw: Dominoes.

Private Eye/Cyclops 416 – Detente candidate

beermagnet — Sun, 09 May 2010 23:15:36 +0000

Pack away your soapbox now. Take down your “Sod the others – Vote for Us” posters. It’s all over for now. The people have spoken and they said “Errr”. Anyway, I don’t understand all this talk about people being unable to vote. I had no trouble, and managed to vote for a different party each time. (“Vote early and often” motto of Al Capone.)
Q. How do you annoy Heather Mills?

Across
7	PARNELL PAR (Standard) NELL (fancy woman of Charles – ref Nell Gwynn) Def: Ref Irish leader Charles Parnell
9	PULL-OUT DD Incorporating Cyclops’ advice to the Pope w.r.t. his upcoming visit? (Pope’s contraception advice)
11	DISMEMBER DIS (insult in “street” language) MEMBER (MP)
12	PENIS PEN (Enclosure) I (1) (one) S[andown] I swear there used to be a Rolls-Royce driving around these parts with numberplate PEN 15 – haven’t seen it for ages now.
13	RESIT (TRIES)* AInd: dodgy.
14	LOOK-SEE LOO (Ladis possibly) K SEE (SEEK)* AInd: kinky. Def: Gander. I suppose both ‘gander’ and ‘look-see’ are slang
16	IN SHORT IN (part of the clique) SHORT (no friend of Blair)
19	SWANSEA (SAWN)* AInd: off. S[hotguns] EA[ch]
20	LIE BACK LICK around ABE<
22	DICEY DIC[k] EY[e] Def: Hairy. For the wordplay this is my favourite clue: Hairy pair of investigators getting their ends away (5)
25	CAPER CAP (head) ER (Brenda)
26	CANDIDATE CANDID (Frank) ATE (scoffed)
27	DETENTE Hidden in: biDET ENTEritis
28	ADDRESS [C]A[meron] D[ay] DRESS (shift)

Down
1	EPIDERMIS [th]E (DIRE PM)* AInd: ruined. IS (lives). First answer attempted and entered to get a bunch of first letters and a flying start.
2	CRISIS C[h]RIS IS Ref The excruciating Chris Evans
3	GLOBAL (B[an]G LOLA)* AInd: stupid
4	SPURIOUS IOU (debt) inside SPURS (footbal side). Last entered – somehow thought debt would give DR
5	ALL PISS AND WIND A kind of CD/DD thing relating to the Electioneering/soapboxing theme
6	COUNTESS ES (drugs) inside COUNTS (matters)
8	ELECTIONEERING (ONE GIN ERECTILE)* AInd: dysfunction. This answer was heavily cross-referenced within other clues and provides the theme for the crossword. Turns out there’s been an election happening recently. That’s why you had to turn more pages to get to the crosswords.
15	EASY-PEASY (AYES)* AInd: vacillate. PEASY (vegetable-like?) Ha ha
17	SELF-PITY (SPIT LIFE)* AInd: makes. with I swapped for Y
18	THATCHER THAT (the one) CHER[ie] (Blair i.e. lacking)
21	KANSAS K[elvin] (NASAS)* AInd: liberal
23	CHASER CHAS (Brian) ER (his mater)
24/10	ACID TEST A (one) (CITE DTS)* AInd: drunk

A. Nick Clegg

Private Eye/Cyclops 415 – Bill and two Bens

beermagnet — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:15:45 +0000

I made hard work for myself with this puzzle by writing in several incorrect answers. I guess I was hurrying and didn’t read the clues properly, and sometimes wrote in what I didn’t even intend (I think my pencil can’t spell). All that stopped me getting some later crossing answers until I realised what was going on.
Anyway, got there in the end taking much longer than normal. In retrospect there was nothing terribly hard here.

Across
1	ADVANCE AD (publicity) VANCE (US Secretary of State) Not Hillary Clinton but an incumbant from 30 years ago
5	GLASGOW A S[ubprime] G (large) all inside GLOW (flush) Last in after correcting 8D
9	BILL AND BEN BILL (Clinton) AND BEN (Elton) Last blog’s flobadob “joke” was purely coincidental. First answer written in “just like that”
11	ARTY [p]ARTY
12	BROWSE BROW[n] S E
13	CATS-EYE CATS (show) EYE (organ) The brilliant Percy Shaw invention
14	FAN CLUB FAN (blow job equipment) CLUB (clobber) Def: Joined by devotees
15	CYCLIC C[ensor] Y[oung] C[onservative] L[amming] I[nto] C[ameron]
17	ULCERS (C[legg] RULES)* AInd: possibly, with ‘breaking’ indicating the C is inside the other letters. Initially I thought the wordplay indicated the answer would start with the C.
19	NUTCASE DD Initially wrote in NUTSACK – Why?
21	BULLISH BULL (Archer’s goal) (HIS)* AInd: undoing
23	RESITE RE-SIT (resume parliamentary place) E[lection] Def: Move
25	POOP O (love) inside POP (Bang)
26	NARCISSISM CD
27/28/7	ONE-EYED TROUSER SNAKE ONE-EYED (As cyclops) TROUSERS (pants) (KEN A)* AInd: embroiled Def: a member. A favourite euphemism of Barry McKenzie

Down
2	DRIER DRI[v]ER Club, as in golf
3	ALLOWANCE A[nswer] (COWELL)* AInd: arranged, around A [millio]N
4	CONCEAL CON[servatives] (not much of a political party) (LACE)* AInd: fancy
6	LUNATIC (NAUTICAL – A)* AInd: Accident
8	ON THE LINE [camer]ON then THE LINE (a place for washing) Stupidly wrote in ‘IN THE SINK’ (well it fitted with 19A NUTSACK at the time!). This stopped me getting 5A till I understood what was wrong
10	BACKBENCHER BEN (Speedy Johnson) inside (BRA CHECK)* AInd: out. Clue refers to “speedy” Johnson, the sprinter, rather then “No-H” Jonson, the Bard’s contemporary
14	FULL-BLOWN FULL (satidfied) BROWN swap R for L Initially wrote in OVERBLOWN which caused crossing trouble for a while.
16	CEAUSESCU C[onservative] (EU’S CAUSE)* AInd: ballsed up. Conversely for this one I knew the answer but waited for crossing letters to be sure of the spelling. Coincidentally I had recently been reading about the Romanian revolution and was reminded how short a time there was between first stirrings and Ceausescu’s death
18	SCIENCE (SINCE EC)* AInd: getting wrecked.
20	TERRIER ERR (boob) inside TIER (bank, as in bank of seats)
22	LAPSE Homophone “laps”
24	TASTE TAT (crap) about S[econd], E (drug) Def: sample

A farmer orders his sheepdog to go and count the sheep.
When the Dog comes back the farmer asks: “OK. How many sheep are there?”
“50″ says the dog.
“How can there be 50? I only bought 47″
“I know” says the dog “I rounded them up”